Supporting Children with Anxiety: Parenting Tips and Strategies

While many children go through phases of being afraid, such as of the dark or thunderstorms, anxiety in children is different and more common than many parents realise. Unlike passing fears, childhood anxiety is more persistent and filled with “what if” worries that can affect a child’s thoughts, behaviours, and overall wellbeing.  

If these worries linger, cause meltdowns, avoidance, or constant reassurance-seeking, they may signal more than typical fears and could be signs of child anxiety. These behaviours are not misbehaviour, but could be signs of underlying anxiety that children struggle to put into words. 

Anxiety can appear at any age, and with the right support, children can learn skills to manage their worries and feel more secure. For parents seeking guidance on easing age-appropriate fears, such as fear of the dark or loud sounds, you might find our article on Dealing with Fear in Children helpful. 

Childhood Fears vs Anxiety: How to tell the Difference 

Fears

• Linked to a clear, specific trigger (e.g., dark, dogs, strangers) 

• Usually short-term and part of normal development 

• Often eases temporarily with reassurance from a trusted adult 

• More common in toddlers and preschoolers 

• Interferes briefly with activities

Anxiety

• May be generalised worries with no clear trigger 

• Persistent (lasting weeks or months) and may worsen over time 

• Reassurance brings only a brief relief before worries return 

• Can appear at any age, including school-age and teens 

• Can significantly disrupt daily life, routines, and wellbeing 

Signs of Anxiety in Children 

Anxiety does not always sound like “I’m anxious.” It can instead look like: 

• Frequent stomach aches or headaches without clear cause, often before school or social events 

• Difficulty sleeping or recurring nightmares 

• Avoiding school or activities they used to enjoy 

• Needing constant reassurance (e.g., "Will I be okay?", "What if something bad happens?") 

• Strong emotional reactions to small changes or surprises 

• Perfectionism or fear of failure 

• Clinginess or withdrawing from others 

These can be signs that your child is struggling and may benefit from some extra support. 

Coping Strategies for Anxious Children (and Parents) 

Here are some evidence-based anxiety coping strategies and parenting tips you can use to gently support your child. 

Validate Your Child’s Feelings 

Instead of brushing it off with “Don’t worry!” or “You’ll be fine,” try saying: 

• “I can see you are feeling nervous about this. That makes sense, it’s a big deal for you.”

This helps your child feel heard and safe and teaches them that it’s okay to have big feelings. 

Externalise the Worry 

Help your child give their “worry” a name. Younger children might find it helpful to call it something like “Worry Monster”, “Mr. What-If,” or a silly name they invent. Once it has a name, you can say things like: 

• “Sounds like Worry Monster is being loud again today. What do you think we could say back to it?” 

This helps your child understand that anxiety is something they experience, not who they are. This technique is often used in child therapy and gives children a sense of distance and control over anxious thoughts. 

Support, Don’t Avoid

It can be tempting to remove all triggers, but avoidance often makes anxiety stronger. Instead of letting your child skip a feared activity, help them face it in small and supported steps. This is based off a technique called graded exposure, which means helping children face fears gradually in small, supported steps, instead of letting them skip a feared activity.

For example, if your child is anxious about performing or speaking up: 

• Start by practicing in front of a parent or sibling 

• Record themselves talking and watch it together 

• Build up to speaking in front of close family or a small group  

• Reassure them that it is okay to feel nervous and that nerves and bravery can go hand in hand. 

Celebrate each step forward as effort is more important than outcome. 

Teach Calming Techniques 

Practical anxiety coping strategies help children regulate their nervous system. Teach and practice these when your child is calm, so they are easier to recall when anxious. 

• Deep belly breathing (e.g., “Smell the flower, blow out the candle”) 

• Grounding techniques (e.g., “Can you find 5 things you can see?”) 

• Movement (e.g., stretching, jumping, dancing, or squeezing a stress ball) 

You can even create a “calm-down corner” with your child, a safe space with comfort items or sensory tools. 

Model Healthy Coping 

Children learn a lot by watching the adults around them. If you talk openly (and calmly) about your own stress and show how you cope, it normalises the process. 

• “I felt nervous before my meeting today, so I took a few deep breaths and reminded myself I could do it.” 

This also helps reduce shame around feeling anxious.

Keep Routines Consistent (but Flexible) 

Routines give anxious children a sense of stability and predictability. Try to stick to regular mealtimes, sleep schedules, and activity times where possible. At the same time, offer gentle flexibility if things don’t go perfectly. A child who feels supported during difficult moments, not punished, starts to build resilience and trust in themselves.. 

When to Seek Professional Help for Child Anxiety 

If your child’s anxiety is starting to impact their daily functioning, relationships, or overall wellbeing, consider reaching out to a mental health professional.

This is especially important if: 

• Their worries last more than a few months or are getting worse 

• Your child begins avoiding important areas of life (e.g., school, social situations, or family outings) 

• They experience panic symptoms (e.g., racing heart, shortness of breath) 

• You notice low mood, sleep issues, or withdrawal from others 

Final Thoughts for Parents 

Helping a child with anxiety isn’t about “fixing” them or removing every worry. It’s about walking alongside them as they learn to feel safe and capable. With time, encouragement, and the right child anxiety strategies, your child can build confidence in managing their worries.  

Just as important, these experiences help children develop resilience, the ability to adapt and bounce back from challenges. Supporting your child to manage anxiety not only ease worries in the moment but also lays the foundation for resilience skills they’ll carry into many areas of life. To learn more, see our article on Building Resilience in Children: Strategies for Parents. 

Looking for Child Anxiety Support? 

If you’d like to speak with a psychologist about child anxiety support or need personalised parenting strategies for child anxiety, get in touch with our team here.  

At Annabelle Psychology, we provide child anxiety support through evidence-based therapies including Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), play-based approaches, and parental feedback. Support is tailored to your child’s developmental stage and unique needs, with empathy and expertise for both you and your child.