8World Tuesday Report <Troubled Youths: Anxiety>
Recently, Channel 8’s《星期二特写》featured stories of several youths who courageously spoke up about their experiences with anxiety. I was invited to share my reflections and expertise on this.
As a clinical psychologist, I often meet young people who are trying their best to grow up in a world that moves faster than they can keep up with. Although I was not involved in the care of the youths featured in the programme, I was deeply moved by their courage in speaking so openly about their experiences with anxiety. Their stories reflect what many adolescents quietly endure– the pressure to achieve, the fear of disappointing others, the confusion of emotional overwhelm, and the loneliness that comes when others don’t seem to understand what they are feeling.
Let’s take a look at their stories and reflect on them together.
“The Only Hope In The Family”
Seventeen year old Si Ying (pseudonym) shared how her first brush with anxiety began when she was in Secondary One. What she described—hyperventilating, crying, shaking, thoughts of self-harm and suicide—are signs of a nervous system pushed into survival mode. For any young person, that can be an incredibly confusing and isolating experience.
What struck me most was how heavily the emotions weighed on her at home. Being labelled as “the family’s only hope” may be intended as encouragement or motivation, but to a teen, it can feel like a burden too heavy to bear. When such expectations are paired with family conflict and stress, adolescents may feel trapped between wanting to do well and drowning in the pressure placed upon them.
Si Ying remembered trying to open up about her feelings when she was younger, yet she felt that no one truly listened or understood what she was trying to share. When parents respond with disbelief or ask their child to “just think positively”, they may inadvertently communicate the message that their struggles are not real. Even if unintentional, such dismissal of emotional distress can contribute to heightened anxiety.
Adolescence is a period full of challenges–new schools, forming new friendships, discovering who you are, and added responsibilities. During this stage, young people are especially sensitive to how others perceive them. Even ordinary uncertainties can feel magnified, and without support, anxiety may quietly take hold and persist.
When Achievement Defines Your Worth
Yu Tong’s story is one I see far too often: a hardworking child who eventually buckles under the weight of expectations she never felt ready to shoulder .
When she gained admission into the Integrated Programme at an elite school, she expressed concerns about being surrounded by high-performing peers, worrying that she might not be smart enough. Instead of validating this fear and exploring it with her, the adults around her tried to reassure her by brushing it aside. What was intended as encouragement became a dismissal of her emotional experience.
As her grades began to slip, she withdrew socially. Her mother assumed it was puberty, as many parents do. Yet for many teens, academic stress and social isolation reinforce each other. When a young person feels that their worth lies only in their achievements, failure can feel like a personal flaw rather than a learning opportunity.
Her first major breakdown at fifteen, marked bypanic and overwhelming helplessness over homework, was heartbreaking to hear about. In that moment, she needed safety and empathy. Instead, she was told not to cry and to “just learn”. When adults rush to fix or correct, teens can feel even more inadequate, as if their distress is proof that they are not trying hard enough.
Over time, Yu Tong developed difficulties with eating, displaying both restrictive patterns and binge episodes. Such behaviours often arise as a way to cope with feelings of loss of control or intense shame. Her mother’s guilt, worry and grief were palpable.
The turning point came when her mother chose to listen in a different way–to sit with Yu Tong’s pain instead of trying to correct it. That shift in emotional connection is powerful. It allows a young person to feel seen again.
Today, Yu Tong is slowly rebuilding her sense of self, opening up in small ways, and learning that she is more than her performance. Recovery is never linear, but it is possible when safety replaces shame.
Paralysed by the Fear of Being Judged
Although I did not work directly with Yong Xing, his experience reflects a familiar pattern in many young people. For a long time, he coped quietly with social anxiety. After the loss of his grandmother, with whom he was very close, his anxiety intensified. He developed selective mutism and would physically freeze for long periods of time when overwhelmed. Afraid of others’ judgement of him, going to school, or even just stepping outside, began to feel impossible.
In his healing journey, therapy played an important role, but so did something beautifully ordinary: his dog, Cotton. The responsibility of caring for Cotton gave him a reason to step outside, even when fear held him back. In a way, Cotton became the bridge between his inner world and the outside world.
Sometimes, therapeutic change begins with the smallest acts of courage. Even forming a connection with a pet can provide a gentler starting point when human interactions feel too overwhelming.
What These Stories Remind Us About How We Can Support Anxious Teens
Across all three accounts, there is a consistent message. Teens do not crumble because they are “weak”. They struggle because they are growing humans, trying to make sense of expectations that often feel bigger than they are.
Here are some gentle ways parents and caregivers can support their children through anxiety:
1. Listen first, without fixing
The most powerful thing we can do is to acknowledge their feelings. When a teen says, “I am scared,” or “I cannot cope”, what they need is someone who shows care, not someone to solve their problems.
2. Avoid dismissive reassurance
Statements like “don’t worry” or “just work harder” may stem from a place of love, but they can leave a teen feeling alone in their fear.
3. Praise effort, not only outcomes
Not every child will excel academically or in every activity. What matters is their dedication and growth along the way. By acknowledging their efforts rather than focusing solely on outcomes, we support them in building a more resilient sense of self.
4. Keep their life balanced
Like adults, adolescents need a balance of rest, social time, hobbies and exercise. A life centred around academic performance narrows their sense of identity and heightens their vulnerability to anxiety.
5. Help them understand their emotions
Helping a teen to recognise their stressors, triggers and internal signals is one of the most protective long-term skills. When they can identify and name what they are feeling, it becomes easier to understand, manage, and address their emotions effectively.
6. Encourage healthier comparison habits
Social media often amplifies insecurities. Remind your teen that what they see online is carefully curated and rarely reflects real life. Encourage them to turn their focus back to their own growth and progress, rather than comparing themselves to others.
7. Normalise seeking help
Seeking help through therapy, school counsellors, and trusted adults is not a sign of weakness. They are avenues for support and connection. Let your teen know that needing and asking for help is a part of being human, not a failure on their part.
A final word to parents and teens
Anxiety in adolescence is not a sign that something is broken; it is a sign that something feels too heavy to manage alone. What these teens have shown us is that vulnerability is not the opposite of strength. Often, it is the beginning of resilience.
If you or your child is feeling overwhelmed, please know that support is available. Early understanding, patience and professional help can make a real difference. No one should have to navigate anxiety on their own.