ACT Skills for Kids: Handling Worry with Confidence

Practical ACT-based strategies to help children notice worry, make space for difficult feelings, and take brave steps toward what matters.

“Why didn’t they play with me today?” 

“What if I say something wrong?” 

“What if nobody wants me on their team?” 

Many parents hear questions like these after a long day at school. As children grow, they begin navigating friendships, classroom expectations, and new social situations. It is therefore natural for worries to appear from time to time.

When children feel anxious, parents often try to reassure them or solve the problem quickly. While reassurance can be helpful in the moment, children also benefit from learning how to respond to worry when it shows up. 

 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) for children focuses on helping children build a healthier relationship with their thoughts and feelings. Instead of trying to eliminate worry, children learn to notice their thoughts, make space for uncomfortable feelings, and continue doing the things that matter to them. 

The following ACT-based strategies can help children gradually develop these skills at home. 

Helping Children Notice “Worry Thoughts”

Children often experience their thoughts as if they are facts. For example, if a child thinks, “They didn’t play with me today, so they must not like me,” the thought can quickly feel convincing and upsetting. 

One idea commonly used in ACT for children is helping kids recognise that thoughts are simply things the mind produces. They are not always accurate reflections of what is happening. 

Parents can support this by gently helping children notice when a worry thought appears. 

For example: 

Child: “No one likes me. They didn’t ask me to play.”  

Parent: “That sounds like a worry thought your mind is giving you.” 

Another helpful explanation is to describe the mind as a storyteller. Sometimes the mind tells helpful stories, and sometimes it tells worry stories. You might say, “Maybe your mind is telling the ‘no one likes me’ story right now.” 

This small shift helps children take a step back from the thought rather than becoming completely caught up in it. The aim is not to argue with the thought or convince the child that it is wrong, but to help them recognise it as something their mind is saying. 

The “Passengers on the Bus” Story

Children sometimes believe they need to get rid of uncomfortable feelings before they can try something difficult. For instance, a child may avoid joining a game because they feel nervous or unsure. 

A metaphor often used in ACT for children is the Passengers on the Bus story. 

You can ask your child to imagine that they are driving a bus, and the bus represents their life and where they want to go. Along the journey, different passengers get on the bus. Some passengers are pleasant, such as excitement or curiosity. Others are more difficult passengers, such as worry, fear, or self-doubt. 

These passengers might say things like: 

• “What if they don’t want you to join the game?” 

• “You might say something silly.” 

• “It’s safer not to try.” 

Rather than trying to push these passengers off the bus, the child learns that they can continue driving the bus anyway. Parents might explain it like this: “Worry can ride on the bus, but it doesn’t get to drive.” 

This metaphor helps children understand that uncomfortable feelings can be present without controlling their behaviour. 

“Leaves on a Stream” for Busy Minds

Some children find themselves replaying worries again and again, particularly after social situations at school. They may keep thinking about something they said, or wonder whether their friends are upset with them. 

An ACT activity called Leaves on a Stream helps children practise noticing thoughts without getting stuck in them. In the exercise, children imagine sitting beside a gentle stream and placing each thought onto a leaf floating on the water. The leaf then slowly drifts away. 

For some children, however, visualising this exercise in their mind can be difficult. Younger children especially may struggle with imagining the scene. 

If this happens, parents can make the activity more concrete and interactive. Instead of relying purely on imagination, the idea can be brought into the real world. For instance, families might draw a stream together and write their thoughts on paper leaves. Another option is to place small pieces of paper into a bowl of water and watch them float. During a walk in the park, parents may even place real leaves into a stream and observe them drifting away. 

The purpose of the activity is not to make the thoughts disappear immediately. Instead, it helps children experience that thoughts can come and go naturally, much like leaves moving along the water. If the same thought appears again, it can simply be placed onto another leaf. 

Helping Children “Make Space” for Feelings

Many children believe they must feel calm before they can attempt something challenging. In reality, feelings such as nervousness or embarrassment often appear in new or uncertain situations. 

ACT for children teaches that it is possible to feel worried and still take action. 

Parents can guide children to notice where the feeling appears in their body. A child might feel worry as a tight feeling in the stomach, a heavy feeling in the chest, or tension in their shoulders. 

You might gently ask: 

• “Where do you feel the worry in your body?” 

• “What does it feel like?” 

After noticing the feeling, encourage the child to take a slow breath and imagine making a little space around the feeling, instead of pushing it away. For example, a parent might say, “Let’s see if we can make a bit of room for that feeling.” 

This helps children learn that emotions can move and change when they are allowed to be present. 

Encouraging Small Brave Steps

Another important idea in ACT for children is helping children move toward things that matter to them, even when worry appears. 

For many children, worries often show up in social situations such as joining a game, speaking up in class, or talking to new classmates. Rather than waiting for the worry to disappear, children can practise taking small brave steps. 

Examples of small steps might include: 

• asking classmates if they can join a game 

• sharing an idea during group work 

• saying hello to a new classmate 

• trying an activity even if they feel unsure 

Instead of focusing on whether the child felt anxious, parents can acknowledge their effort and courage. For example, “I noticed you were nervous, but you still asked to join the game. That was really brave.” 

This helps children learn that bravery does not mean having no fear. Bravery means doing something important even when worry is present. 

Final Thoughts

Worry is a normal part of growing up, especially as children learn to navigate friendships, school challenges, and new experiences. 

ACT for children helps young people develop a healthier relationship with their thoughts and feelings. Instead of fighting worry, children learn how to notice it, allow it to be present, and continue doing things that matter to them. 

Over time, these skills can help children become more flexible, confident, and resilient when facing everyday challenges. If worries begin to interfere with a child’s friendships, school participation, or daily life, working with a psychologist can provide additional support in helping children build these skills.