Quiet Signs You’re Growing as a Parent

Dear parents, 

Do you sometimes feel guilty for not doing “enough”? Many parents feel this way, even when they are already trying hard in ways they do not always recognise. The truth is that the small, often unnoticed things you do each day are signs that you are growing as a parent. 

If guilt has been creeping in, here’s a gentle reminder:  

Small things are not “nothing”.  Small progress is still progress. 

You may also read more about Parenting Guilt here.

Have a look at the signs below. You might spot something you have already been doing, and something you can try.  

• You stayed calm even when your child was losing it. 

There are days when your child is crying, shouting, or melting into the floor. Inside, your patience may be wearing thin. Yet you take a breath, steady yourself, pick up the food they threw, and keep going. Even when work has drained you. That takes strength, and it shows how much you care. 

• You apologised when you lost your temper. 

Parents lose their cool too, and that is okay. What matters is the repair. When you apologise and explain what happened, you teach your child honesty, responsibility, and emotional safety. 

If you are unsure how to start, you can try something simple like: “I’m sorry for raising my voice earlier. Climbing on the table was dangerous and I got worried. I will try not to raise my voice next time, and you need to remember it’s unsafe too.” 

• You set a boundary and said “no”, even when it felt uncomfortable. 

Saying “yes” often feels easier, especially when you are tired. But setting a firm, loving boundary teaches your child about limits, safety, and respect. It may feel challenging, but it is one of the clearest ways parents show care. 

• You gave your child space to feel and express big feelings. 

Crying, stomping, shouting, giggling loudly... Emotions come in all shapes and sizes. Instead of shutting them down, you sat with your child as they feel their feelings. You guide them gently towards calming down. This is emotional learning at its best. 

• You stayed consistent with a consequence, even when it was hard. 

Following through with consequences is never easy. But staying consistent helps your child understand cause and effect and learn responsibility. These moments may feel tough now, but they build important skills over time. 

• You allowed yourself to parent differently from how you were raised. 

Perhaps you grew up with fewer hugs, fewer praises, or lots of “because I said so”. Choosing to break old patterns and parent with intention takes courage. Doing this while others watch or comment? That’s even braver. 

• You stopped comparing your child to others. 

You recognised that your child has their own pace, strengths, and challenges. Letting go of comparison gives your child space to grow and gives you space to breathe.  

• You celebrated their effort, not only their achievements. 

You cheer them on for trying, not just for succeeding. This teaches resilience, confidence, and healthy motivation. It shows your child that the process matters more than perfection. 

If you have not done all of these, that is perfectly okay. Parenting growth does not show up as big milestones. It appears quietly, in small moments, gentle choices, and the ways you keep showing up each day. 

Be kind to yourself. You are growing more than you think, and your child is growing beautifully alongside you. 

We have a trove of articles to help parents parent, read and take whatever you need.